Cancer isn't the only thing that kills.

Cancer Isn't The Only Thing That Kills
James Way sat backstage of the tribute concert to his dying father, Gerard Way. Gerard had been diagnosed with liver cancer a few short months ago, and everything spiralled out of control since then. Gerard's brother Mikey started drinking again, his best friend Frank started cutting himself and James had resorted to drugs to get through the tough time. No one knew of James' addiction as he kept it secret. His step-mother Lindsey was broken both mentally and emotionally and James needed to be strong for her and his little sister, Bandit. Everyone was worried for the health and safety of them and was completely oblivious to James' problems. No one noticed James' inability to do things. Most of the time, he could barely walk straight yet no one saw. Gerard's news had hit James the hardest. Gerard was his hero, his saviour, his life. Without him, James felt like he couldn't carry on. Brian called to James, letting him know he had five minutes left. In just five minutes time, James would be out on stage, in front of millions of sad and heartbroken fans, singing for his father. James reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill bottle. He put three pills into his mouth and swallowed them dry. His pills were his way out. His escape plan. He knew that someday they would kill him, and that was his plan. Keep taking them 'til he ODed. At the rate he was taking them, he would be dead in a just a few weeks. He would join his dead mother and by then, his dead father.
James stood and shook his black hair out of his eyes. James looked almost like Gerard did in the Revenge era. Same long hair, same hazel eyes. On the base of his neck was a small tattoo of a bleeding heart. It had been a gift to him from Frank for his 17th birthday. Normally, James needed to wear glasses but tonight he was wearing contacts. He wanted to be able to see the audience. James met with Mikey before going on stage and the two shared a sombre moment before walking out, under the bright stage lights. Frank, Ray and Bob, who had come back for this one occasion, followed them out on stage and took their positions behind James. James swallowed thickly before grabbing the microphone.
"He- hey guys. I – we wanna thank you for coming tonight. You all know why you're here and apologise but I can't say the name of the band. It just makes me – uh – I can't even say it – so yeah, you know who we are, this is us and here we go. One quick thing, if I stop singing tonight, I want you all to keep singing. Sing it for the world, sing it for your friends and most importantly, sing it for my dad. This song is called Helena," James finished as the band started playing. James sang the lyrics with such determination and passion, the crowd began crying straight away. He tried not to cry but soon, his tears mixed with those of the band and the crowd. The song finished and the crowd screamed and cried, a mixture of yells and heart wrenching sobs making their way to James.
"Thank- you so much guys. You're all fucking amazing. This next song is The Only Hope for Me Is You. Although it was written for my little sister, I'm singing now tonight for my dad, Gerard Motherfucking Way. Here we go!" James yelled into the microphone before bowing his head. The song started and the crowd sang along with James as he shouted at the top of his lungs to his father. The song ended and James walked over to Mikey and mumbled something. The next few songs (I'm Not Okay, The Ghost of You, Cemetery Drive, Demolition Lovers and Cancer) blurred together and next thing he knew, James was singing the end chorus to the Kids of Yesterday. Yet another song ended and James felt drained. He felt as though all of his energy had been sucked out of him. He wandered over to the drum kit where a bottle of water was waiting. James doused himself in water and took off the Party Poison jacket he'd been wearing for his father. Famous Last Words began playing and James sprinted back to the microphone. He sang the lyrics and stopped halfway through the song but the crowd never wavered. They sang each word, each lyric and hit every note and James was inspired by their determination. He grabbed the microphone and yelled the last few lines of the song and then spoke to the crowd.
"I know that song really didn't fit in much but I just wanted you all to know that I am not afraid to keep on living or walk this world alone. I wanted him to know that. This next song is dedicated solely to my father. He loved this song and I hope that I can sing it the way he did. It's called SING!!" James felt bad about lying openly like that. He knew he was terrified of a world without his father. Absolutely horrified. Sing began playing and James sang quietly. He knew that if he raised his voice, he would fail and he didn't want to fail this song. The crowd sand along with James and he stopped halfway again, to hear the voices of the millions of people that Gerard and My Chemical Romance had touched. James and the other men were amazed at the power that the fan's voices carried. The song ended and James stood there, stunned by the audience.
"Holy motherfucking shit. You are all fucking amazing! I have never seen so many people get into that song like that before! Wow… Uh – this next song has a real deep meaning to me. You see-" James started singing the lyrics to Welcome to the Black Parade and Mikey joined him at centre stage. Although Mikey's voice was rough and unrefined, he still sang with James. The two men sung every word together and by the end of the song, both were tears. James couldn't stand anymore. He fell to his knees on stage and began to sob, every one racking his already shaking body. The members of the band stood around him, hugging and comforting him. James picked up the microphone that sat by his knee.
"Thank you so much. You were all absolutely fucking amazing and I couldn't have been asked for a better concert. This is the end-" James took a deep breath and swallowed. "Of My Chemical Romance…" The last word came out as nothing more than a whisper as he lost his voice, trying to be strong. The band handed their instruments over to the tech guys and helped James off stage. As soon as he was, James fell to the couch backstage and cried his eyes out. Mikey sat beside him and cried along, silently. James rested his head on Mikey's shoulder and cried. Mikey stroked his nephew's hair as they sobbed together. Minutes passed and soon they had both cried themselves dry. James got up and went to go to the bus when his world suddenly spun and he collapsed to the pavement, unconscious. Mikey and Frank ran to him while Ray called an ambulance and Bob tried to find something to use as a pillow and some water.
Five minutes later, James' unconscious body was being loaded on a gurney into the back of the ambulance as the other men looked on in shock. The ambulance drove away, its sirens piercing the otherwise quiet night. Ray went back inside to gather their things so they could join Gerard and James at the hospital. As he picked up Gerard's Party Poison jacket, a small bottle of pills fell out. Ray was shocked and scared at the thought of James doing drugs. Some pieces fell together and he realised that James might have ODed, considering that over half the pills were gone. When Ray walked back outside, he found Mikey on the phone with someone that could only be Lindsey while Frank and Bob stood talking away from Mikey. Ray went to them and showed them the pills.
"I found these in James' jacket," he explained. Bob's eyes widened in shock and Frank cringed in pain, remembered the effects pills such as these had on Gerard.
"He'd taken these before he went on stage?" Frank asked as Mikey walked over.
"Who took what?" he asked.
"James took these," Ray explained, holding up the little bottle. Mikey stood there, mouth open, speechless at the little known fact.
"Why?..." he whispered. Frank shook his head and looked away while Bob and Ray offered no answer. Tears pricked at each of their eyes as they all remembered what happened to Gerard when he was addicted.
"What did Lindsey want?" Ray asked, breaking the silence.
"I called her. I told her what happened. She's gonna meet us at the hospital. We should go…" Mikey said, moving towards the parking lot where their bus waited. The others followed and they clambered onto the tour bus and drove off, heading towards the hospital where their friend and fellow band member and his son waited.
The ride to the hospital was quiet and sombre despite the occasional buzz of Ray's iPhone as he was texting Brian, letting him know what was happening. As they pulled up to the hospital, reporters stood waiting, in hope of news of Gerard and James Way. As the band stepped off the bus, flashes of cameras echoed into the quiet night, slightly blinding them. Hundreds of questions assaulted the men as they pushed their way to the door. Mikey became fed up with their persistence and turned around and yelled: "piss the fuck off! You'll get news when you deserve it, fuckers!" Many reporters recoiled in shock from Mikey's words. Others nodded and left immediately while some stayed. Mikey longed to beat the shit out of them all but resisted the temptation. They finally made it inside where Lindsey and Bandit were waiting. Mikey hugged Lindsey before hugging his niece. Tears ran down his face as he told Lindsey of Ray's discovery. A doctor came out, telling them that Gerard was asking for them. Mikey held Lindsey's hand as they walked towards Gerard's room. Frank pushed the door and Gerard's face brightened when he saw them. Yet when he saw their faces, he began to worry. Gerard had lost his hair long ago, due to the treatment for the cancer, but it still shocked Bob to see Gerard without hair.
"Hey guys. What's happened? Why is everyone so sad?" Gerard asked in a raspy voice. Mikey swallowed and opened his mouth to answer, but nothing happened. He couldn't say it.
"It's James. He collapsed backstage and was admitted here just before," Frank answered for Mikey, putting his arm around the skinny man. Gerard's eyes widened and he gasped, hand flying to his mouth.
"How?..." he whispered.
"He was taking pills Gee. He took some before we went on stage and collapsed afterwards. Over half the bottle was gone when I found it," Ray explained. Tears formed in Gerard's eyes as he thought of James. He thought he taught James never to do that shit. After what happened to himself, Gerard tried to make sure that it didn't happen to anyone else. A doctor came in and asked to speak to Gerard privately.
"I'm sorry sir, but we all deserve to know what's happened," Gerard said and the doctor nodded.
"James had a near-fatal amount of drugs in his system, but we got to him in time and he has survived, barely. He has had a severe reaction to the drugs and may not make it past a month. He's in an induced coma right now and won't be awake until next week at the earliest. It was the only way to prolong his life. I'm terribly sorry," the doctor explained. The room was silent for a moment. The doctor went to leave but was stopped by Gerard.
"Wait! Can he be moved into this room with me?" he asked.
"I'll see what I can do," the doctor replied before leaving the room. Nobody spoke. No one dared to break the miserable silence. One question, however, was on all their minds. Why?
In the early hours of the next morning, Gerard's sleep was interrupted by a few doctors bringing in James' bed. They positioned him and hooked up all the machines needed to keep him alive. After they left, Gerard stayed awake, staring at his son. Although he was told not to, Gerard got up and sat beside James and grabbed his hand.
"James, I don't know if you can hear me but I'll say this anyway. I'm sorry. I know why you did it and I'm so fucking sorry. This is all my fault. Just please don't be as weak as me. Don't die just 'cause you can't take it. You've gotta take this in and become strong for Lindsey, B, Frank, Mikey and everyone else. They all rely on you. You've gotta be strong James. Stronger than me…" Gerard said to his unconscious son. Tears escaped his eyes as he slowly fell asleep, clutching James' hand. Unseen to him, Mikey stood in the doorway, silently observing Gerard and James. He picked up Gerard and put him back in his bed before checking on Frank who was sleeping in a chair in the corner. Neither Frank nor Mikey had left the room since the doctor spoke to them. Mikey hadn't slept at all so he went out to get some coffee when James had been taken into Gerard's room. Silent tears escaped Mikey's eyes as he watched the two Ways, both father and son alike; slowly die, in pain and suffering. One with hope of surviving, the other with no chance. Frank stirred and awoke and was surprised to see James in the room. Mikey handed him his coffee which Frank declined. A few hushed words explaining James' arrival ensued between the two before Frank drifted off to sleep again leaving Mikey alone, staring at the wall between his brother's and his nephew's beds.
James remained unconscious throughout the next day and Gerard began losing hope. He had condemned his son to death, along with himself. Gerard's condition became worse as he watched his son slowly die, never to wake again. Mikey and Frank watched as Gerard's chance at life slowly diminished along with his hope for James.
Very early the next morning, a heartbeat slowed to stop. Doctors and nurses tried to save the dead man but they did not succeed. The others were notified and so the mourning process began. Plans had to be made for a funeral and his death had already taken its toll on the surrounding family and friends. A week later, the other Way was released from hospital and was taken home, where he mourned privately, painting pictures and singing songs of the friend he had lost. His own life meant nothing to him as he grieved for his fallen hero. Nothing would change the fact that he had been allowed to live while his companion had died. He blamed himself for everything.


Epilogue:
Days turned into weeks, weeks to months and soon, years had passed. A tall, thin figure with dark hair and hazel eyes stood over a tombstone, the bright moon creating a dark shadow of the rock. The person knelt down in front of the grave and cried. His tears fell to the earth and mixed with the dirt as he sobbed, heart wrenching sobs for his dead friend. Another figure, this one small and tattooed, placed an arm around the other man,
"Four years, Frankie," the tall one said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I know," was all the shorter one, Frankie, said.
"I killed him Frankie! It was all my fault. I let him die!" the tall person's voice carried through the night as he yelled the words.
"No you didn't. You didn't kill him," Frank reasoned. The tall man shook his head and pounded his fists on the dirt.
"I could've saved him!" he repeated over and over.
"How? You were dying yourself. You could barely walk," Frank said. The tall man looked at his friend briefly before turning back to the grave, having no reason to Frank.
"c'mon Gerard. You've gotta get home. Back to Linds, and B. They need you." Frank said to his best friend. Gerard nodded and stood, laying a small bouquet of blood red roses of the grave. He kissed his fingers and put them to the stone before hugging Frank and walking away. Frank lingered a moment longer, reading the tombstone before joining Gerard in the long walk home.
The tombstone read:
James William Way,
A son, brother, friend and hero.
Lost but never forgotten.
1994 – 2011

Although James had died that night in the hospital, his spirit and memory had carried on in the lives of his friends and family. He was lost but sure as hell never forgotten.

FIN